I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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