Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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