Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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