yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
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