My friends, they love my intelligence
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
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