you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
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