It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Randomize
