I didn't shave. On purpose
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
