Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
