So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize