On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
