So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
sex in a hospital.. check
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