I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
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Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
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There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Use "feeling words"
Yay
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
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