The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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