ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Couch. On fire.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
