dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Randomize
