I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
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It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
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Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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