Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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