I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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