someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
