So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
well you can't waste a boner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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