Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
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