The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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