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I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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