I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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