I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize