i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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