I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Randomize
