grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
