Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
