We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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