idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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