Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
