I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
