You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Randomize
