Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
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