Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
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