That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Randomize
