Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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