So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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