he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
