woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
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