Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
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