spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
