I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Randomize
