Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
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