i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
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