you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
me + whiskey = a bad person
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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