How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
