You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Randomize
