Jerry, you need to find god
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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