I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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