Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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