I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
