Jerry, you need to find god
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
