Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
