Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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