I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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