TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
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