I can text with my tongue
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
