she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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