benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
