Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Randomize
