the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
