so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
