what day is it and did you see me today?
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
