Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
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The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
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I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize