It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
