Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
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