guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Randomize
