If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Randomize
