Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(586): View more from Michigan

1:57 a.m. Where did you go???

(586): View more from Michigan

1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?

(586): View more from Michigan

2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?

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(586): 1:57 a.m. Where did you go??? (586): 1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding? (586): 2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in? http://tfl.nu/vrje

Replies (33) Good night (1629) Bad night (8933)
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(313): View more from Michigan

Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods

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(313): Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods http://tfl.nu/gefu

Replies (3) Good night (711) Bad night (958)
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(323): View more from California

Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.

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(323): Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper. http://tfl.nu/471e

Replies (10) Good night (4128) Bad night (868)
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(248): View more from Michigan

Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.

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(248): Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam. http://tfl.nu/6oxt

Replies (17) Good night (4311) Bad night (1276)
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(503): View more from Oregon

They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?

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(503): They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that? http://tfl.nu/8vi3

Replies (6) Good night (2964) Bad night (839)
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(707): View more from California

He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.

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(707): He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie. http://tfl.nu/yx94

Replies (6) Good night (2967) Bad night (1294)
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(831): View more from California

Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.

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(831): Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot. http://tfl.nu/f3j9

Replies (20) Good night (6549) Bad night (1236)
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(815): View more from Illinois

He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.

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(815): He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT. http://tfl.nu/1ipa

Replies (10) Good night (965) Bad night (1794)
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(828): View more from North Carolina

and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.

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(828): and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY. http://tfl.nu/xi75

Replies (9) Good night (1941) Bad night (683)
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(206): View more from Washington

Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.

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(206): Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun. http://tfl.nu/5ck8

Replies (19) Good night (1829) Bad night (753)
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(417): View more from Missouri

I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.

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(417): I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning. http://tfl.nu/bwti

Replies (11) Good night (1528) Bad night (550)
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(201): View more from New Jersey

I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.

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(201): I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google. http://tfl.nu/votb

Replies (8) Good night (1032) Bad night (286)
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(218): View more from Minnesota

In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.

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(218): In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first. http://tfl.nu/gyje

Replies (1) Good night (796) Bad night (278)
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(216): View more from Ohio

If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.

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(216): If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh. http://tfl.nu/ymc8

Replies (1) Good night (395) Bad night (269)
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(702): View more from Nevada

I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.

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(702): I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices. http://tfl.nu/4a49

Replies (1) Good night (599) Bad night (298)

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