I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
