Texts From Last Night

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  (718): View more from New York

  You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.

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  (718): You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants. http://tfl.nu/n5jd
  Replies (11) Good night (2269) Bad night (877)
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  (805): View more from California

  I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.

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  (805): I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome. http://tfl.nu/p5hg
  Replies (8) Good night (2214) Bad night (3079)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??

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  (520): just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon?? http://tfl.nu/c1fp
  Replies (33) Good night (10843) Bad night (1205)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.

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  (313): while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up. http://tfl.nu/p2q9
  Replies (14) Good night (3421) Bad night (2024)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.

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  (309): Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me. http://tfl.nu/c51e
  Replies (7) Good night (1191) Bad night (2289)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk

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  (740): We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk http://tfl.nu/up7x
  Replies (2) Good night (2239) Bad night (954)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night

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  (818): Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night http://tfl.nu/1iuj
  Replies (6) Good night (1019) Bad night (1917)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?

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  (602): Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house? http://tfl.nu/arpl
  Replies (14) Good night (4045) Bad night (746)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  You can't spell "party" without "RA."

  (1-970): View more from Colorado

  You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."

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  (970): You can't spell "party" without "RA." (1-970): You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired." http://tfl.nu/jawl
  Replies (4) Good night (956) Bad night (512)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.

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  (306): There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it. http://tfl.nu/dil5
  Replies (0) Good night (522) Bad night (320)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.

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  (414): Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual. http://tfl.nu/8kpf
  Replies (1) Good night (865) Bad night (374)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"

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  (814): I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father" http://tfl.nu/jrcs
  Replies (3) Good night (995) Bad night (414)
• Favorite

  (219): View more from Indiana

  They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.

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  (219): They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M. http://tfl.nu/5crd
  Replies (1) Good night (561) Bad night (398)
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.

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  (785): Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience. http://tfl.nu/heit
  Replies (2) Good night (319) Bad night (277)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background

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  (631): He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background http://tfl.nu/9kct
  Replies (2) Good night (184) Bad night (848)

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